Archive for June 2006
- Rainbow Smart (2006.06.10)
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Just don’t park ’er nose to curb.
- Citroën Cluster Phenomenon (2006.06.09)
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My esteemed colleague and I were driving along King (for we drive and, yes, are as shatterers of worlds) and I found myself blurting out loud “Why is there a Citroën SM and why is there a Citroën DS?” In fact, there were seven Citroëns all in one place, including 2CVs and some late-model variety uncomfortably resembling a Lada Samara.
My eyes widened and I giggled and clapped my flat-outstretched hands like a schoolgirl. I made us stop the car. I took pictures until I ran out of juice. I talked to the SM owner. (“Whenever you show people a Citroën SM, they think The Longest Yard: ‘Don’t you take my Maserati!’ Except it isn’t a Maserati. It’s a Citroën; the engine is a Maserati.”) I watched various Eurotrash in too-tight and/or ruffled shirts and overlarge shades clutch their twee twine-handled shopping bags as they regarded these alien creatures.
Our philosophical question de la journée: If we know these things hike themselves up to drive away on their hydraulic suspensions, why do they have to hunch back down again once parked? The French showing off or something?
- The very unluckiest city bus (2006.06.06)
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(Q.v.)
- Frogman (2006.06.05)
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Yet another instalment in the seemingly endless stream of surprises down at the Beach.
I saw this frogman in orange (for it is he) walk smartly into the lake. Then I noticed the other guy, who soon hollered over to the frogman “While you’re down there, can you look for my glasses?”
I thought this was a joke. I was – so help me – on my way over to suggest that he should have said “contact lenses” when the frogman reached in and – so help me – pulled out a pair of eyeglasses and handed them to the other guy.
I love this shit.
And did you notice the intake vent camouflaged as a rocky outcropping?
- Picking cherries on the beach (2006.06.04)
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- How not to attain 100% captioning (DVD version) (2006.06.02)
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A proposed settlement to a lawsuit claiming that DVDs marked as captioned did not actually contain captioned bonus materials is a bad deal and should be opposed. Here’s why
- Later, haters (2006.06.01)
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Saying goodbye to the man who lets hatred run amok