I HAVE BEEN TOLD I DESERVE
“A FULL LIFE THAT ISN’T JUST ABOUT FIGHTING FOR THINGS”

(UPDATED)Jack Mason hosts the Perfume Nationalist podcast with his brother and a girl nicknamed Jugs. In other words, Mother, Jugs & Speed cohost the Perfume Nationalist. (She’s the in-house anti-Semite, joined by a special-guest-star anti-Semite for a number of episodes.)

Originality is overrated and underrated all at once, but the show achieves actual originality by “pairing” a varietal of perfume with one or more movies. Jack’s rejection of neoliberal morality as mere play-acting, particularly by females, is as recognizably gay as his voice, with which he delivers bon mots at breakneck speed. He reminds me of the late Prince of Queens.

He also mispronounces things constantly and just uses the wrong words. His brother, a sound-engineer hobbyist, handles everything technical, and subjects listeners to a sound collage on each episode prefaced by a piercing pure tone, but cannot quite figure out that a filename like 2019_09_04_TPN_s01ep33_Rose_Clouds_
of_Holocaust_w_JUGS_n_Ty_E_TEASER - The Perfume Nationalist
is a complete nightmare.

Jack appreciates avant-garde cinema and makes a strong case for the true artistry of works and performers, from Knots Landing to Lens Dunham, derided by bien-pensant lamestream critics. He appreciates Thirtysomething, for which I handwrote a 330-page episode guide, and adores C. Paglia and F. Lebowitz.

So you think we’d get along like a house on fire.

No. What he doesn’t have is continuity with cultured eldergays, of whom he knows none. His boyfriend certainly isn’t one. Lebowitz unoriginally observed that AIDS killed all the cool people (I know who gave her that line), and further observed, this time originally, that AIDS killed off a high-connoisseurship audience that has never been replaced. But Jack forgets Fran Lebowitz’s own life history (as retold in Public Speaking):

I was interested in older people. I always had friends much older than me. I had friends so much older than me that, by the time I was 40, many of my closest friends had died of old age already. But it was because they were older than me – in other words, because they could teach me something, you know, but not because I thought they were going to do the new thing. That was my job, you know? That’s how the work used to be split up.

Jack derides White wymmynz’ performative allergies to perfume and their endless elective ailments, like fibromylagia. He instant-messaged me to basically tell him to stop funnelling corrections his way, at which point I told him he could block me.

Jack’s an expert on perfume (I still do not know what [a]ouds, fougères, and chypres are, but at least I can pronounce those words, along with “Fassbender” and “chthonic”), while his brother is adept at sound design. Jack’s allergy to other forms of expertise is performative and traces back to the unbreachable chasm caused by having no cultured eldergays in his life to guide and correct him.

(I added the public Perfume Nationalist episodes to the Internet Archive, where Jack’s brother’s insane URLs are prominently displayed. All my corrections were and are correct and his ire is purely elective, but I’m a paid subscriber to the Perfume Nationalist nonetheless. And despite Jack’s hubris, some brigade of trannies, a word often used on the podcast, are going to get him booted off Patreon, which will then seize all his money.)


Updates

  • “You know someone is cool when their big thing is owning people by correcting pronunciation,” Jack writes.

    Option 2: Learn and improve. Surely Old Spice is just like Yatagan? (2020.05.01)

  • Nice labradoodle – brave of you to adopt an animal born from nuclear waste

    Nobody has Jack’s sensibility. And he has used it to attract a tribe of adoring admirers.

    Instead of hurling themselves bodily at Morrissey onstage, which I have personally observed twice, what Jack’s acolytes do is send in underwear photos.

    When they manage to keep their clothes on, they produce mood boards evoking an entirely novel masculinist sensibility. (2020.08.20)

    This is the synchronicity dudes being dudes need…: Don Bluth meets John Milius meets soldier physique meets soap opera/perfume/anime/video games. Forget pills. Follow your nose. Perfume Nationalism
  • Jack is laboriously transcribing his own podcast. Strong idea but weak execution, since his original copy will have so many errors, and will not be structurally marked up in the slightest, that it will take ages to bring to a point where it can be copy-edited and typeset. (Hyphen-hyphen is never ever a dash, for example.)

  • Surely “Piss Chanel” by Venfield 8 should be the Perfume Nationalist’s first licensed fine-art print? (2020.08.30)

  • JACK: Do people not understand you can download the file for every episode? In fact, I wish someone would just, like, reliably leak all the episodes. Like, I don’t like paywalling some of them, but I have to, because this is a business. But I wish somebody would reliably leak them all.

    Very well. Now every episode is on the Internet Archive indefinitely.

  • JACK: And, like, I’m doing these motherfuckers a favour by sharing this divine wisdom with them – for $5! They could be so enlightened. They could be so happy. I’m also eminently forgiving and welcoming anyone back to the flock.

    Not only does and did Jack not welcome me “back to the flock,” which flock I never left, he unblocked me then re-blocked me. His brother and an army of his World War I–soldier-redolent hetero acolytes blocked me, no doubt in response to a blocklist innocently purveyed by Jack or his brother.

    (“People will favo[u]rite 36 tweets trashing me and then later complain through a proxy that they’re blocked”: No, I state explicitly that Jack and/or his brother circulated a blocklist. I was on it for no reason, and even less than no reason given that my own accounts are set to PRIVATE. A blocklist is a blacklist and is indistinguishable from the so-called cancel culture Jack Mason decries on every episode when he’s not promoting his lifetime anti-censorship doctrine. [“But since I’m just totally against everything that even remotely resembles like cancelling and unpersoning, except for people behind cancelling and unpersoning, this whole going through history and deleting people – it’s evil. There’s no other word for it. It’s evil.”])

    To summarize: Jack insists he is right about everything, except what he isn’t right about. On those topics (on seemingly all topics), he will not tolerate the tiniest bit of correction. Everyone who doesn’t endorse him to the max is a mere “hater.” Jack purports to be forgiving, but he, his brother, and/or his acolytes went out of their way to set up a blacklist. Meanwhile, I am a paid subscriber and I am the one who lifted a finger to ensure Jack’s work will be preserved in some guise.

    JACK: Like, I’ll keep my fucking eye on you, but I’m still, you know—

    GIRL: It’s part of our Christ-like nature.

    False. There is no coming back. (2020.09.04)

The final episode of the Perfume Nationalist

…should treat the most disturbing film ever made: The Rapture.

The Perfume Nationalist will necessarily have a final episode. Everything episodic must. The end will occur because, one by one, all of the soldier-redolent boys who hurl themselves olfactorily at Jack will dare to voice a single criticism each. So in turn will other fans. These are all people who can think and, redolence notwithstanding, have no reticence to speak their minds.

Jack – with no capacity to tolerate dissent or criticism, even while regaling us of his tales of growing up gay, fat, popular, and well-adjusted (also right about everything) – will block every one of them. After the Ice‑9 manner, soon there will be no one left to block. Jack’s fan base will be as corpses gauzily visible beneath the frozen Thames.

Thus will conclude the Perfume Nationalist – “delivered to an audience of no one, for no reason.”

The foregoing posting appeared on Joe Clark’s personal Weblog on 2020.04.19 13:15. This presentation was designed for printing and omits components that make sense only onscreen. (If you are seeing this on a screen, then the page stylesheet was not loaded or not loaded properly.) The permanent link is:
https://blog.fawny.org/2020/04/19/oud-chypre-fougere/

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