Scrappy runt garners fame by reading stories of playing an elf at Macy’s on American public radio. (“Unemployment, for instance. My last job had been as an elf at Macy’s.”) In Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls, this is what David Sedaris talks about because this is how rich he is.
I could have easily held a full-time job, then come home at night and tied twigs together, but in a way I needed the poverty, needed it as proof that I was truly creative
The people I hung out with in my early 20s were middle-class and, at least to our minds, artistic. We’d all turned our backs on privilege, but comfortably, the way you can when you still have access to it
Unlike a lot of authors I know, I enjoy my book tours – love them, as a matter of fact. That said, I’m in a fortunate position
The thing about Hawaii
It was late September, and Hugh and I were in Amsterdam
To those who don’t travel very often, the Courtyard Marriott might seem like a decent enough hotel
Because I’m in the air so often, I hear this story a lot
In the year before the election, I travel[l]ed pretty much nonstop: Italy, Greece, Germany, the Netherlands, Australia, Brazil, and all through the U.K. and Ireland
I was in London during the inauguration
After a month in the United States, I flew to Canada
After my month in the United States, I flew back to France
At the spot Hugh and I go to in Normandy
my experiences in France, where I’ve lived off and on for the past 13 years
Our village in Normandy is too small to have its own
Years later we moved to Paris
In the cent[re] of town, where we’re lucky enough to have an apartment
All those years in France
It was the same after our move to England
I was in London, squinting out my kitchen window at a distant helicopter
it was enough to convince us, in the way that horrible, childless couples can be convinced of such things, that we needed to sell our vacation house in Normandy and resettle in West Sussex as soon as possible
“We’ll take it,” Hugh told me – this while standing in the living room, before we’d even seen the second floor
We were in Japan, walking through a national forest in a snowstorm
On a recent flight from Tokyo to Beijing
“I have to go to China,” I told people – this in the way I might say “I need to insulate my crawlspace” or “I’ve got to get these moles looked at.” That’s the way it felt, though. Like a chore
before landing in China, Hugh and I spent a week in Tokyo
On our last trip to Tokyo, Hugh and I rented an apartment
Hugh and I returned from China, and a few days later I started preparing for a trip to Germany
I’ve been to Australia twice so far
I was in Australia on business, and because someone else was paying for the ticket and it would be possible to stop in Japan on the way home, Hugh joined me. This is not to put Australia down, but we’d already gone once before
People think it’s easy to leave home and resettle in another country, but in fact it’s exhausting
You’re supposed to sit there and pretend his tales are just as wacky and he’s still the lovable scamp you grew up with. But do you want to live vicariously as a Macy’s Xmas elf or as the guy who flies to Australia – again – on somebody else’s dime? You’re enabling him.
You can’t kill the Rooster golden goose.