“AND FLASH GORDON WAS THERE IN SILVER UNDERWEAR”

Analogue/digital artiste Chris Austin creates naïve, readily legible magic-realist paintings of animals, not atypically decked out with underbelly lights reminiscent of ground effects on riced-out 2002 Mitsu Evos hauling ass up Yonge St. in the wrong gear on a Saturday night.

Two foxes in mystically glowing green field
Bald man with tattoos holds very wide printout of fox with glowing pink underbelly

“Naïve” and “readily legible” are hardly criticisms. I couldn’t do this shit either. (Elena Shumilova creates analogous works via photography.)

The foregoing posting appeared on Joe Clark’s personal Weblog on 2019.07.16 15:02. This presentation was designed for printing and omits components that make sense only onscreen. (If you are seeing this on a screen, then the page stylesheet was not loaded or not loaded properly.) The permanent link is:
https://blog.fawny.org/2019/07/16/chrisaustinart/

The so-called Fathers project started out as a conceptually original video travelogue of an imagined future in which AIDS never existed. Creator Leo “Mexican Artist” Herrera revealed himself to be an intentionally marginal queer sellout from a kit with his endless complaints about “transphobia” and “white supremacy,” neither of which are real or which limit him at all in the freest country on earth.

  • Vito Russo is president in a United States that tolerates so-called Stonewall colonies. This faux-VHS non sequitur sticks out from the last video depicting Herrera’s utopian future:

    Chyron: Alt-right riot at gay club

    He meant BLACK LIVES MATTER SMOKEBOMBS GAY-PRIDE PARADE, HOLDS ORGANIZERS HOSTAGE.

  • Due to censorship that does not affect his class of “queer,” Herrera notes that, “over the course of the series, viewership of Fathers has plummeted” – to levels its creator deserved all along.

  • Anti-gay, anti-male, anti-White, anti-gay-White-male cultural products “are the signposts that tell us we’re headed in the right direction as an LGBTQ people. They must be protected at all costs,” he writes, making as much sense as “Brave transwymmynz of colour threw the first brick at Stonewall.”

  • “What will happen to my films if the clouds come down [sic] or my social-media accounts are deleted for linking to a porn site?” Herrera asks. What happens to gay White men and lesbians who call “queers” like him inveterate liars?

If a “queer” person tells you it’s raining, stick your hand out the window just to make sure. Keep in mind too that – all things considered – he’d like to see you dead.

The foregoing posting appeared on Joe Clark’s personal Weblog on 2019.07.16 13:45. This presentation was designed for printing and omits components that make sense only onscreen. (If you are seeing this on a screen, then the page stylesheet was not loaded or not loaded properly.) The permanent link is:
https://blog.fawny.org/2019/07/16/fathersproject/

KRUSTY: “Get ready for two weeks at the happiest place on earthTijuana! ”


Here we have the happiest homosexualist photograph of the year, which I could also restate as the photograph with the happiest homosexualists of the year.

Black dude in garish pup hood has arm around stocky guy with nose ring and rubber shirting

We take male sexuality much too far half the time, which indeed makes them hate and envy us, but we also come up with fetishes that aren’t actually fetishes. The kind of thing where everybody has good clean fun and nobody goes home feeling ashamed or dirty or sullied. Dressing up is good clean fun, whether in mildly customized commercial pup hoods (note also he’s a black negro of colour, and note the Apple Watch, because we are not savages here) or in rubber outfits that almost never work on a dude that size. (Teal latex overhauls are a fashion-forward choice if you’re slim and hirsute.)

You can wear these getups on the subway ride to the venue and in the Uber on the way home. You can walk there in these getups. Tons o’ fun.

Now, the dude that size just married his dude that size, whom he could pretty much deadlift. I still don’t understand skin illustrations on black dudes.

But aren’t you having fun looking at this picture? Wish you were there?

Breeders don’t have access to any of this shit.

The foregoing posting appeared on Joe Clark’s personal Weblog on 2019.06.04 16:03. This presentation was designed for printing and omits components that make sense only onscreen. (If you are seeing this on a screen, then the page stylesheet was not loaded or not loaded properly.) The permanent link is:
https://blog.fawny.org/2019/06/04/weightplate/

Previously:

It is torture to read a novel not just because nobody in it goes to the bathroom, spends every night watching TV, or surfs obsessively on their phones, nor just because the novel was permanently discredited by David Shields’ Reality Hunger as a Victorian form that has not evolved. (I’ve never been the same.)

Sean Tejaratchi (q.v.):

Book cover for ‘Jane Eyre’ by Charlotte Brontë shows motocross rider in mid-air jumping over a berm

Another screamingly funny visual pun that hasn’t gotten old in a year and a half as rotating desktop wallpaper.

Literature and novels (cf.):

  1. can’t produce a visual pun

  2. do not acknowledge motocross ever existed

  3. never feature characters who set up rotating desktop wallpaper, check their phones in bed, have specific iPhone models, use emoji, sit on Twitter all day arguing with “Nazis,” take shirtless photos for Instagram, use Instagram, use any service like Twitter or Instagram, use any such service as frequently as they are designed to be used, retweet, DM, PM, favourite, like, block, misspell and mistype constantly in instant messaging, have multiple instant-messaging services, send dick pics via instant messaging (not SMS), know what SMS is, accept that SMS exists, that’s what it’s called, and that it’s a 20th-century technology that never gets mentioned in literature and novels, go to the gym, stand in line at the off-brand grocery store after work three or four times a week, have a commute, do the laundry, leave laundry in a pile unsorted, iron shirts, iron trousers, screenshot (v.), PVR Game of Thrones, torrent Game of Thrones, sit on the phone with a cable “provider” disputing a charge, have Spotify going in the background all day literally every single day of the year (or Bassdrive), walk the hound, Swiff (except in Super Sad True Love Story), file a GDPR data request with Facebook, delete their Facebook, ever have a Facebook at all, live in a world where Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or even the Internet exists, used the Internet for more than two decades, watch YouTube constantly, inhabit a world where YouTube exists, have tediously unremarkable shit to do at work every fucking day, buy new chinos at H&M, shop for basically anything, with multiple stops at different stores all coming up bupkes, used to be on Friendster, ride a dirt bike, want a girlfriend but are just paralytically incapable of talking to females, blow three or four other guys a month, hate their gay-married husbands, hate their coworkers, get shitcanned, pay tittystreamers for attention and basically prefer that now, get a boner at the gym, show their boners at the gym, get the AIDS well into the 21st century, have three different “dating” apps on their specific iPhone models, and those are just the gay ones, seethe, post to Twitter and Instagram about how racist their adoptive White countries are, smoke-bomb gay-pride parades, have a “browser” on their “laptop,” have tabs open in their browsers, open a new tab in their browsers, download a PDF they’ll never actually look at, go to church, can’t believe doctors still use fax machines, read books without noticing they never resemble any part of their lives whatsoever, all the way down to spending the entire last quarter of the 20th century never mentioning the fax

As such, David Shields is and was correct: “Literature” really is a Victorian form that hasn’t changed one iota even if its stories are set in outer space.

Someday you’re gonna die. Imagine having spent your life reading literature and novels. Either this desktop wallpaper goes or I do.

The foregoing posting appeared on Joe Clark’s personal Weblog on 2019.05.13 14:10. This presentation was designed for printing and omits components that make sense only onscreen. (If you are seeing this on a screen, then the page stylesheet was not loaded or not loaded properly.) The permanent link is:
https://blog.fawny.org/2019/05/13/novels/

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