I QUIT

Archive for category: Splorpist

Photos in the genre of Grant Hutchinson’s Splorp.com

   (2004.06.09)

And why are their warning signs always beaten to shit? Did somebody back a speedboat into them?

Two rusty, dented signs on poles warning of buried natural-gas pipelines
   (2004.06.06)

I don’t quite understand why we need a garage with an angled cantilevered roof in the wastelands of the Toronto harbour, but here it is. I think the fire-alarm annunciator is a hopeful touch. Do materials like these even burn?

Side view of angle-roofed cinder-block building with ramp, vehicle bay, and affixed red fire bell
   (2004.06.06)

About twice in the last decade. And when I was a young fella, I was into this shit.

Elderly Winnebago Brave motorhome parked outside dilapidated Cherry Mill Terminal
   (2004.06.04)

One visited the BMW Toronto architectural feast in my hood during Doors Open. I still recall the occasional odour of burning Sunlight detergent in the building’s former incarnation.

It seems the builders jotted down a note or two on the windowsill.

Sadly, I did not get a shot of the Fruits-style Chinese chick with dyed hair, halter top, hot pants, and leggings with garters. However, I loved the freight elevators:

Giant freight elevator, spotlessly clean and large enough for an SUV
Stainless-steel warning sign affixed to elevator (‘Class B Loading. This elevator desgined to transport motor vehicles.... This is not a passenger elevator’)
   (2004.05.26)

The tables at B (op. cit.) are trays of pebbles drowned in clear epoxy.

Overhead photo of used espresso cup, empty glass, and purple-and-black Gore-Tex hat on white-pebbled tabletop

Sadly, these are communal tables, so if you head off to the nicest-ever crip washroom, when you come back you find yourself tactically surrounded by office ladies. “Oh, I’m sorry. Were you sitting here?”

On the other hand, the plasma screen runs movies with English same-language subtitles, further revealing the folly of such. (Plus they’ve got their aspect ratios wrong.)

   (2004.05.26)
Front-left five-pointed silver wheel and massive tire of parked black Bentley

And the kicker? This $400,000 car carried a disabled-driver permit. Funny, I didn’t know millionaires could drive but not walk!

   (2004.05.24)

I guess it’s just easier to paint over the grate than to turn the gun off for half a second.

Metal grate has the same yellow stripe as the tarmac around it

Meanwhile, the model of this rubberized speed bump is… Easy Rider.

Bolted to the pavement, a yellow-and-black-striped speed bump is engraved ‘Easy Rider’ at the tip
   (2004.04.30)

As the graffiti (unexpectedly, it is not actually found on this building) otherwise tells us, THIS SHOULD BE HOUSING. A suspicious fire drove tenants out years ago. Suddenly there’s scaffolding. No doubt they’ll remove the apartment block’s signal feature: It carries one of the few remaining street signs actually affixed to a building.

Blue scaffolding next to brick low-rise apartment block bearing ‘Heward Ave.’ sign
   (2004.04.30)
Two-page advertising spread showing product shots and simulated film frames on a blurred blue-tinged background

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