Compared to nondisabled swimmers, video shows that 1½-legged swimmers:
- are skinny, pigeon-chested, pasty, scoop-shouldered
- are so much hairier they look thistled
- have too little uncarpeted surface area on the chest for requisite maple-leaf tattoo (viva Victor Davis!)
- fail at being blond, and also undergo male-pattern baldness
- do not wear earrings, let alone on both sides
- fit into the category of “painfully skinny” rather than achieving the canonical “swimmer’s build”
- wear longer swim trunks, as though that stump needs a bit of holding in or it’ll pop right out
We don’t expect the Canadian Paralympic Committee to get too many things right. Trying something as dicey as comparing a disabled and nondisabled athlete within the same commercial was a recipe for disaster. How was poor Andrew Haley supposed to end up looking at least as good as Morgan Knabe?