Now you know where they get their fuel. SOYLENT ZAMBONI IS PEOPLE!

Profile view of white Zamboni levered open in a three-piece zigzag, with two people visible behind it at the wall of a skating rink

I initially missed this shot (and you know how I hate that), but the firefightron, who was, sadly, not Chris the Fireman, obligingly reënacted this news story for me, just like on network television.

Red Toronto fire engine’s cab rotates away from the wheels along the axis of the front bumper, with an open service panel on the main body behind it

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None. I quit.

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