Now trods the same path as The Walrus in its intellectualized defence of mixed martial arts (Ultimate Fighting™). We’ve got the same claims that MMA is safer than boxing, the same spotlight on a fighter who, far from being a Trailer Park Boy, is university student or medical resident, and, crucially, the same visits to an Indian reservation to witness MMA events that the pugilist governing body refuses to sanction and insists are illegal.

Cover of ‘Now’ featuring bloodied, tattooed, shirtless figher holding up two fists; cover of ‘Xtra’ showing squinting, four-eyed Tom Kalin

Which one’s gay?

Then we come to the differences. Like: Now actually admits these fighter d00dz are hot. Or, at the very least, the whole “scene” is.

“I’m looking for athleticism, some personality and some skill, not just weekend warriors,” says Freedom Fight’s Peter Rodley. “You gotta remember: these guys are auditioning to fight in front of 4,000 people in their underwear.” […]

“We allow two grown men to get married in this province but we don’t allow two grown men to fight. It’s ridiculous,” says professional MMA trainer Sam Zakula.

I’ve channel-surfed through the various homoerotic MMA shows on television, including The Ultimate Fighter. I suppose these boys are nice to look at, but please: They’re all from the wrong side of the tracks. To paraphrase The Simpsons, they’re just yellow trash.

Fundamentally, this is my problem with homosexualists who profess to fancy MMA. At root, they’re lying. Ask Buddy Cole: “Lately I’ve been taking a lot of interest in athletics. Well, athletes.” They’re trying to undo their unmasculine childhoods. They valourize the same boys who beat them up or picked on them, or, even more tragically, ignored them completely when what they really wanted was a zipless fuck. Or a really rough fuck, a well-schooled rodgering from unschooled louts. (You graduated from university. You call yourself a professional in your personal ad, and you’ve got a really very smart pair of rectangular eyeglasses to prove it.)

This isn’t my own history, since the closest thing to a bully I dealt with was a big ugly Jew with a good body. (A Jewish bully in New Brunswick. Pace Angelou, they bring the shtetl with them.) This idolizing is one form of dishonesty piled on another. It’s well more than and much worse than idolizing your oppressors. I barely buy it from Shad Smith, the hardscrabble felon/fighter/homosexualist. The ongoing (unrelated) quest by a puny gay rugger to become an actual competitive martial artist fills me with contempt, and I don’t do contempt very often. (You could look him up. He has nearly the same name, making him an also-ran yet another way.)

If that’s not political enough for you, they’re all too happy to sic a ginger on a Muslim.

Yeah, we got your clash of civilizations right here.

The foregoing posting appeared on Joe Clark’s personal Weblog on 2008.05.08 13:26. This presentation was designed for printing and omits components that make sense only onscreen. (If you are seeing this on a screen, then the page stylesheet was not loaded or not loaded properly.) The permanent link is:

(Values you enter are stored and may be published)



None. I quit.

Copyright © 2004–2024