“SQUELCHED ENTHUSIASMS”

From a Craigslist posting late last year, fittingly entitled “Tough Fuck”:

I’m looking for a guy who is not a vegan Buddhist hippie pussy. I happen to like violence and aggression. I don’t see what’s wrong with liking violence as long as only the people who are supposed to get hurt. My first career goal was to be a NHL player like my hero Tie Domi. I made it to the juniors but that didn’t work out now I’m training to be a cage fighter and it fuckin’ rocks. I get to beat the shit out of dudes and get paid for it… it’s a wonderful world.

In the meantime I’m working as a bus driver for the TTC… it pays the bills but I make sure all the loud people shut the fuck up and the riders know not to start shit cause it will be dealt with harshly. I like to go to punk and metal shows. My past dates have said I’m a little evil and demented but I’m also friendly, funny, caring, loyal, and loving once I get to know you. I like to give kisses and hard headbutts. If I’m interesting let me know. You’ll have a great friend, lover, and protector – if anybody ever hurt you I probably couldn’t see you in the hospital cause Id be in prison from going apeshit and tracking the motherfucker down and kicking his face in.

Needless to say, I edited his copy. Oh, and he lives in the 905.

Anyway, to paraphrase John Waters: “The perfect boyfriend: He’s young, he’s cute, and he kills whoever gets on your nerves.”

The foregoing posting appeared on Joe Clark’s personal Weblog on 2009.02.05 22:12. This presentation was designed for printing and omits components that make sense only onscreen. (If you are seeing this on a screen, then the page stylesheet was not loaded or not loaded properly.) The permanent link is:
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