“IF IT WAS JUST ME AND A TAMBOURINE,
IT WOULD STILL BE THE FALL”
– Mark E. Smith

That ugly site about New York “media,” Mediabistro, is offering a course for graphic designers. They seem to offer it every two months. Learn how to code your own Web page! (And design it.)

What will you learn? You’ll have to download a PDF of a Microsoft Word document to find out. Isn’t that your first warning? (What’s the filename? _X_OIyjN8QoxAHTXviUs49syKz.pdf.)

Instructor David Tristman will bring you back to the future by teaching you about the following (excerpted):

  • Working with text: Headers, paragraphs, linebreaks
  • Divisions and Spans
  • Opening linked pages in separate browser windows
  • Using CSS (style sheets) to format link text
  • Image attributes – width, height, “alt text” [I just love the quotes], align
  • Creating a table and using tables to control page layout
  • Pros and cons of using tables vs. CSS for layout
  • Formatting tables – colo[u]rs, backgrounds, borders, size, spacing

I’m just wondering what the pros of table layouts are. But why be so suspicious, I ask myself? If they were good enough for our grampappies, surely they’re good enough for us. Only our grampappies were also using Letraset, X-Acto® knives, PMTs, and a waxer, so perhaps the olden days should just be left behind.

Tristman was born in ’68. He went to Bennington but managed to escape with his balls intact, since he can bench 185. All this and more can be gleaned from his personal site, written entirely in Flash and listed as “©2006.” If the course still interests you, that’ll be $425, please.

Michael Surtees, do not sign yourself up! It’ll only make matters worse.


UPDATE (2010.01.12): Aaand… he’s back!

The foregoing posting appeared on Joe Clark’s personal Weblog on 2009.07.03 08:51. This presentation was designed for printing and omits components that make sense only onscreen. (If you are seeing this on a screen, then the page stylesheet was not loaded or not loaded properly.) The permanent link is:
https://blog.fawny.org/2009/07/03/tristesse/

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