I’M SORRY I EVER MET YOU

Amerikanski Psycho, ≈18:30 (and now with 2021 update):

— Is that a gram?

— New card. What do you think?

Card with Sabon type. Patrick BATEMAN Vice President at centre

— Whoa. Very nice.

— Look at that.

— Picked them up from the printer’s yesterday.

— Good colouring.

— That’s bone. And the lettering is something called Silian Rail.

— That’s very cool, Bateman. But that’s nothing. Look at this.

Card with Bodoni type

— That is really nice.

— Eggshell with Romalian type. What do you think?

— Nice.

— Jesus. That is really super. How’d a nitwit like you get so tasteful?

— I can’t believe that Bryce prefers Van Patten’s card to mine.

— But wait. You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.

Card with Helvetica type

— Raised lettering, pale nimbus. White.

— Impressive. Very nice.

— Mm.

— Let’s see Paul Allen’s card.

Card using Bank Gothic

— Look at that subtle off-white colouring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh, my God – it even has a watermark.

— Something wrong? Patrick? You’re sweating.

That last man is the quavering, foppish, bow-tied quisling of the picture, so of course his card would offer the gaucherie of colour.

Card with red and green type

Doesn’t a card like that scream “Watch your back in the washroom”?

Update

(2021.07.11) From a YouTube parody by Bup (no relation):

  • That’s Georgia and those are fake small caps. But the errant missing space after the ampersand is preserved.

  • Offset-printed, this Bodoni is much too brilliantly clear. The sizes are wrong. But the restored space after the ampersand is rendered.

  • The original wasn’t really trying (no one in that echelon would have dared use a sansserif, let alone Helvetica; small caps are, as ever, fake), but this Arial monstrosity is an insult to the intelligence.

  • Bup (still no relation) even managed to include this design in the reveal of the card. Overall most authentic typography – readily contrasted against the dog’s-breakfast layout and ideologies.

The foregoing posting appeared on Joe Clark’s personal Weblog on 2010.09.23 07:49. This presentation was designed for printing and omits components that make sense only onscreen. (If you are seeing this on a screen, then the page stylesheet was not loaded or not loaded properly.) The permanent link is:
https://blog.fawny.org/2010/09/23/murdersandexecutions/

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