YOUR NEUTRAL APOSTROPHES SICKEN ME

Oddball fagonomics outlier: Zeke, rich widowed homosexualist.

When his spouse [defined as what, exactly?], Gary, died last year, Zeke was left with two mortgaged houses and some big decisions.

He is living in his weekend home on B.C.’s Sunshine Coast but would like to move back to Vancouver. His city home is pulling in high rent, so Zeke wonders whether he can really afford to live there on his modest publishing-industry salary.

Should he sell the coast home, or can he keep both properties, Zeke wonders? He is uncomfortable with his $535,000 debt load and is striving to pay it off as soon as possible, making extra payments to his mortgages.

  • Monthly net income (including rent): $7,770.

  • Assets:

    • Bank account $75,000

    • GICs $39,000

    • RRSP $101,000

    • Sunshine Coast home [sic] $300,000

    • Vancouver house [sic] $750,000

    Total: $1,265,000.

  • Monthly disbursements:

    • Mortgages $3,570

    • Condo fees, including water, sewer $665

    • Property tax $475

    • Home insurance $75

    • Heat, hydro $150

    • Maintenance $165

    • Auto insurance, fuel, maintenance $390

    • Groceries $640

    • Clothing, dry cleaning $135

    • Gifts $20

    • Charity $20

    • Vacations and travel $210

    • Personal $90

    • Dining out $70

    • Pet expenses $145 [that’s one expensive pet]

    • Entertainment, subscriptions $45

    • Sports, hobbies $85

    • Dentists, drugstore, vitamins, health, life insurance $105

    • Telecom, cable, Internet $310

    • RRSP $100

    • Other savings $250

    Total: $7,715.

Usually it is positively insufferable rich hetero retirees who are featured in this column in the Globe. Their faces are always obscured, and just seeing the photo alongside every installment – without exaggeration – almost makes me ill. I loathe it that much.

Zeke, incidentally, spends like a drunken, widowed, homosexualist sailor.

The foregoing posting appeared on Joe Clark’s personal Weblog on 2011.08.31 15:13. This presentation was designed for printing and omits components that make sense only onscreen. (If you are seeing this on a screen, then the page stylesheet was not loaded or not loaded properly.) The permanent link is:
https://blog.fawny.org/2011/08/31/zekeonomics/

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