Right-wing assholes can be tremendously entertaining. Mark Steyn is one of them. I love his TV and radio appearances; give him enough airtime and he’ll inevitably wander off into the grasslands of show tunes and life in the Theatre. I found America Alone snappy and amusing, if – and this is what we sign up for – tendentious. I have never quite understood the Kath & Kim–compliant Australian accent this U.K.-educated “Canadian” living in New Hampshire speaks in, but it sure does add to the fun.

Steyn’s new book After America: Get Ready for Armageddon pretends to be a sequel, I guess. In fact it is merely a crotchety, ill-typeset grab bag of annoyances. Nobody clutches to anecdotes as proof of moral and societal decline like right-wing assholes.

What’s Mark Steyn complaining about now? (Order shown below is almost exactly that seen in the book.)

  • “The ‘stimulus’ and ObamaCare” (endlessly)

  • “When the Commies take Taiwan” (joking reference)

  • Wodehouse

  • The Book of Daniel

  • “American ruin” (not joking); “Declinism”

  • “Globaloney”

  • The letters in armageddon: Addiction, Redistribution, Monopoly, Arteriosclerosis (yes), Global retreat, Engineering, Decay, Disintegration, Open season, Nukes away!

  • “Dopey Obamatrons of 2008” who “droned… ‘Yes, we can!’ ”

  • NASA’s desire to “make Muslims ‘feel good’ about their contributions to science”

  • Dams and aqueducts of yore

  • Seeking “new, faster ways to live in an eternal present” instead of reproducing

  • GM, Chrysler, Detroit

  • De facto governmental monopolies (not actual corporate ones; “Government today has a monopoly of monopoly”)

  • Statists (a word only right-wing assholes and Objectivists ever use; then again, cisgendered is a word only sworn enemies of those groups ever use, and Steyn also complains about “code language” and “code words”)

  • “ ‘Rights’ to stuff”

  • Human-rights commissions here, but also OSHA

  • Bankers and “imaginary money”

  • Eco-totalitarianism

  • Infertility

  • Big unions

  • Public-sector salaries

  • Greece, Italy, Germany

  • “Celebrat[ing] diversity”

  • “We are obsessed with identity, but any identity other than ‘American’ ” (written by Australian-accented U.S./Canadian binational)

  • “My old pal Boris Johnson”

  • Illiteracy

  • “Feelings”

  • Sexless, infantilized, semi-employed hipsters (males emasculated)

  • “A ‘family’ is any living arrangement you happen to dig at that particular moment”

  • “Procedure” (in context of cops and security guards refusing to save people during accidents or crime)

  • Demise of “women and children first,” which apparently never was practised, least of all on the Titanic

  • Britain (apparently in toto)

  • “ ‘Human rights’ ”

  • “Dependistan”

  • “Almost every claim made for the benefits of mass immigration” (“is false”)

  • “The jobs Americans won’t hire Americans to do”

  • “Conformicrats”

  • Shark and coyote attacks as proof our enemies don’t fear us anymore. (Next graf begins “After the boom in Islamic terrorism”)

  • Queers Against Israeli Apartheid (“Is there a Queers Against Sharia?”)

  • Genetic diseases brought on by Pakistani Brits marrying their first cousins

  • A “ ‘Food Safety’ Act, among whose items was federal regulation of schoolhouse bake sales”

  • “Six-figure universal college education”

  • “Islamophobia”

The foregoing posting appeared on Joe Clark’s personal Weblog on 2011.09.20 14:57. This presentation was designed for printing and omits components that make sense only onscreen. (If you are seeing this on a screen, then the page stylesheet was not loaded or not loaded properly.) The permanent link is:

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None. I quit.

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