Noah’s Arc (sic) was an ensemble dramedy series telecast on one of the doomed Amerikanski “LGBT[TQQI2S*]” networks, Logo. We watched several discs’ worth of episodes, until we were nearly driven mad by the dreadful plots, half-assed writing, and full-on effeminacy of one or more characters. The guys who weren’t total fembots were built like brick shithouses, hence were trying too hard. In at least one case (that of Chance), effeminacy and a perfect body mixed and matched like chocolate and peanut butter.

And that reminds me: They’re all black! (Or “mixed-race.”)

Four black guys various caps, tank tops, and pink shirts, with hands on hips etc.

The New England Patriots
suit up for Super Bowl XLII

So we’re supposed to like this, right? Because “gay men of colour” are finally being represented? What if the representation is reprehensible? Even if it is, in some respects, accurate? (What, I’m not allowed to say that? These guys are fictional. I can say whatever I want about people who don’t exist.)

I’ve met a hell of a lot of black queens, but the black guys built like Olympic wrestlers whom I’ve known have been polite Canadians, not Americans with an overcompensation problem. Then again, one of those Canadians later went into porn. (Had we made it as far as Series 2, we would have discovered that the adorable Canadian with the self-explanatory name, Merwin Mondesir, had joined the cast. [Interview.])

In the magazine now owned by Logo’s competitor (here<bang> [sic] now owns the Advocate), creator Patrik-Ian Polk bats a weak wrist at critics of the show’s namesake maladaptive-in-chief, Noah. (Issue 1018, 2008.11.04, p. 59.)

“Real men are the ones who choose not to hide their sexuality, wear it proudly, and hold their head up high to accept whatever society throws at them[.]

In truth, the “real men” who do that are masculine, well-built, and heterosexualist. (Noah’s dream man!) But when they do any of what Polk says, they’re ridiculed as sexist swine. Especially if you can’t even get a quick fuck out of ’em.

[B]loggers like [Rod 2.0] (whose recaps… often poked fun at the characters’ lack of masculinity) represent a “small group of men who clearly have issues that they’re dealing with. If they really look at the show in a realistic way, they’d see that these are not stereotypes.”

Or they’re just reprehensible. Maladaptives are long overdue for some bad press. Didn’t they choose to be that way? (Or do I have that wrong? Is a rewatching of La cage aux folles in order? Or can I make do with The Birdcage?) When is somebody going to write a full-on Project Runway takedown?

Now, what was Rod 2.0 saying about poor, picked-on Noah? Read the first and second instalments for yourself. Neither of them particularly rags on Noah’s girliness, or anybody else’s. These must be the best TV recaps I’ve ever read (and I was there at the birth of Hissyfit); the only thing that’s missing is a criticism of the obvious.

The feature-film sequel Noah’s Arc: Jumping the Broom is now playing at a theatre quite far removed from you. Blink and you’ll miss it, and your false eyelash will fall off.

The foregoing posting appeared on Joe Clark’s personal Weblog on 2008.10.26 17:40. This presentation was designed for printing and omits components that make sense only onscreen. (If you are seeing this on a screen, then the page stylesheet was not loaded or not loaded properly.) The permanent link is:

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None. I quit.

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