I HAVE BEEN TOLD I DESERVE
“A FULL LIFE THAT ISN’T JUST ABOUT FIGHTING FOR THINGS”

Very occasionally in audio description, onscreen text appears that has to be read out loud. That part isn’t actually very occasional. The very-occasional part is when the text contains profanity.

It comes up now and then. A bumper sticker read SHIT HAPPENS in Forrest Gump. Black Hawk Down had my fave example: “McKnight mouths the word ‘motherfucker.’ ”

In Wanted, nutbar diretor Timur Bekmambetov (or Темір Бекмамбет – two Kazakh dudes on the subway taught me the correct pronunciation one time) defies every law of physics. The movie is credited to a trio of screenwriters. Usually too many cooks spoil the broth, but this broth has just the right brio.

It’s been a long time since I saw characters not even pretending they were trying not to swear. Profanity came up over and over again, even at a fake ATM. Look and listen, as for research, personal study, or review. (Check the Flickr video set.)

  • Screen reads   followed by links to two buttons, CORRECT and INCORRECT

    NARRATOR: The machine notes “Your transaction cannot be processed.” More messages appear: “Insufficient funds. You’re an asshole.” Then screen prompts ask: Correct or incorrect? Now the ATM reads “You’re broke, your best friend is fucking your girlfriend, you know it, and you’re too big a pussy to do anything about it.” Wesley selects Correct and leaves. Later, in the pharmacy.

  • Angelina Jolie looks to the side and grimaces, her lips pressed together

    NARRATOR: They hide behind another shelf ad. Now, as the woman uses her cornerscope, Wesley makes a run for it. The woman mouths the word “fuck” and goes after him. Wesley sees Cross, who walks toward him, gun lowered.

  • NARRATOR: Everyone steps out of his way except Barry, who nods and walks straight for him.

    BARRY: Yeah. That was great, bro. Who’s the man?

    NARRATOR: Wesley slams the keyboard across his face, sending several keys and a tooth flying. The airborne keys spell FUCK YOU.

Miles Neff was, as usual, the voice (a mainstay of the Descriptive Video Service), but there wasn’t a writing credit on the descriptions. That must have been a fun day at the office.

The foregoing posting appeared on Joe Clark’s personal Weblog on 2008.12.26 17:24. This presentation was designed for printing and omits components that make sense only onscreen. (If you are seeing this on a screen, then the page stylesheet was not loaded or not loaded properly.) The permanent link is:
https://blog.fawny.org/2008/12/26/wanted/

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