You are wrong about Brüno. Is it not cultural terrorism at its finest? I think so, and so did everybody else in the theatre at Scarborough Town Centre (well more than 90% Chinese, Black, or Indic). A mere four people walked out during the talking-cock scene.
But: I saw it with audio description and you didn’t. How do you describe Brüno?
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He shows his pubic hair!
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He’s wearing a pink bodysuit with a plush penis and testicles.
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It pumps a dildo in and out of Brüno’s backside.
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Its clear nozzle sucks in Brüno’s jiggling testicles.
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Dozens of colourful garments stick to the suit.
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At Sweet Cheeks Anal Bleaching, Brüno speaks with a female stylist.
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A nude man is covered in sushi!
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Brüno tilts his head, checking out Lutz’s backside. [Surely Lutz is a poor man’s Stellan Starsgård?]
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Brüno dances in tiny red briefs. Lloyd averts his eyes.
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Onscreen, Brüno wears a skin-tight leopard-skin shirt and matching briefs.
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A straight line of pubic hair runs from his navel to his penis. [There’s a suspected use of the word “dick” in the next sentence, but people were howling so loudly and the scratchy, piece-of-shit headset audio was so quiet I missed it. So let’s just start a rumour!]
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He lets his pants fall, revealing purple spandex briefs.
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Brüno pretends to hold Milli’s penis […] then mimes fondling Milli’s penis.
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He simulates oral sex, bobbing up and down vigorously.
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Brüno nods his head up and down as he wiggles Milli’s invisible member.
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On a streetcorner, he wears a fashionably modified Orthodox outfit.
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He claps and waves his hands effeminately. The predominantly African-American audience watches him.
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Brüno sits down with his adopted baby, who wears a mini-shirt labelled GAYBY.
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In another Jacuzzi, one man is naked and upside down with his crotch in another man’s face.
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He wears a toilet-brush mouth gag. They’re tied up in leather bondage gear.
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Gerbils scamper in a drawer.
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A TV remote protrudes from Brüno’s butt.
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Now at a God Hates Fags anti-gay group rally. [We read onscreen titles.]
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Now in Alabama, Brüno faces Pastor Jody Trautwein, gay converter.
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Brüno flails a huge black dildo.
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Brüno wears a strap-on dildo. Danny boots it. Now Brüno attacks with all three dildos.
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Brüno minces effeminately as others jog past.
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Brüno gives a Nazi salute.
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Brüno offers his limp hand to three hunters, and one shakes it.
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“Get in your fucking tent and leave me alone!” [We read subtitles, even same-language subtitles – quite redundantly in a few cases here.] “Get the fuck out of here!”
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Now Brüno again sits reverse-cowgirl on his lap, smiling dreamily.
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He shifts uncomfortably as two men and a woman give another woman oral sex. A box covers her.
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Now the balding man humps a woman from behind. Jack smiles uncomfortably. A black box covers his genitals.
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He stares at her melon-sized breasts. [Kid behind me: “It’s a guy! He’s a guy!”]
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Ge strips them off, revealing smaller briefs.
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Brüno lifts it [the veil] over his head, revealing his masculine features.
Who is our narratrix? A quite-often-mortified-sounding Gaille Heidemann, last heard many years ago on Stuck on You.