Author archive

Near-paragraphs in song lyrics    (2005.10.24)

How long can song lyrics go and still make literary sense?

More ROM steel    (2005.10.21)

Another drive-by shooting:

Tidy’s    (2005.10.21)

Not the even-more-fabulous sign on Richmond St., as yet unphotographed.

Joe 1, Opera fanboys 0    (2005.10.21)

A tab is a tab, people.

Another strikeout on the way    (2005.10.16)

Prediction: ‘Web 2.0’ to leave Joe Clark by the wayside

Raccoon by day    (2005.10.16)

I screeched to a halt when I saw this combination of parks-department vehicle, lesbian driver, and raccoon blocking the path.

“I thought they were nocturnal,” I said jauntily.

“It’s very sick,” said the lesbian severely. And indeed it was, just barely able to walk. I am pretty sure I startled it by screeching to a halt, causing it to freeze in fear.

“Oh,” I replied brilliantly, and abashedly walked my bike around everything.

Arial in ladder truck    (2005.10.16)

I can superexclusively document (and you can’t) that warning labels in a brand-new $750,000 ladder truck are typeset in Arial (also, confusingly, Helvetica and Futura).

Tactile signage in ladder truck

Additionally, this warning sign (yes, it really is located above an A[(]E[)]RIAL INLET!) is somehow typeset in three-dimensional, tactile Avant Garde Gothic and Helvetica Condensed, as though some ill-defined category of blind firefighter were expected to read it at a three-alarm blaze.

Ginger creep-out    (2005.10.15)

Redhead photos that creep me out

Pluperfection    (2005.10.14)

Élite… whom… élite… whom…