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Archive for category: Splorpist

Photos in the genre of Grant Hutchinson’s Splorp.com

   (2004.07.18)

Hideous both. But only one of them should be eradicated from the earth all the way to the last molecule.

White Pontiac Aztek in foreground, Chevrolet El Camino in background
   (2004.07.18)

Due to the rather outrageous renovations at OCA, the shitty old automatic door has suddenly levitated six feet off the ground. Check the enlargement.

Door with wheelchair logo (enlargement shows it’s six feet off the ground)
   (2004.07.13)

But Datsuns you spit right out.

Teal-blue Datsun B210: Angled coupé roofline; nameplate; black honeycomb grille and deeply-recessed headlamp and turn signal

I lived down the road from a Datsun dealer and I remember the very week the B210 came out. I looked for a long time indeed at the nameplate and could not possibly figure out how to say it. I thought it was “B-21-O.” The oppressive, cramped, pitch-black interior (with huge, intrusive seatbelt retractor up by your temple), plus the nauseating design features indicated above, burned it forevermore in my memory.

Oh, and guess what? A car that small was rear-wheel-drive. Then again, so was the Chevette. (And the Acadian.)

Scarifying. And, for the love of God, turn down the gain on that paint.

   (2004.07.08)

How’s that for a colour combo? It’s probably visible from the moon.

Teal-blue metal panel, with ventilation grille at bottom, also has a bright-gold-coloured round brass latch
   (2004.07.08)

Is it lateral thinking or 45-degree thinking to paint a huge retroreflective A on the side of each ambulance?

In reflected light at nighttime, decals on a van show the words ‘EMS Paramedic Supervisor’ and a huge blue letter A
   (2004.07.08)
Red turn signal, shaped like a wedge with blunt corners and its point at the rear, sits atop a white rounded fender
   (2004.07.08)

Rather as in Britanski Queer as Folk, I have seen the dead man’s apartment in this building. He was 74, and of his detritus, the following extruded tray was the most tragic.

Extruded plastic tray, with a Christmas-bell design, leans against rolled-up carpet
   (2004.07.07)
Beaten-up taxicab is missing hood and doors, but still has a trunk
   (2004.07.04)

Fun use for a vehicle wrap. You’re aware that Babs Kruger’s was a complete disaster?

Minivan with vinyl appliqué showing map of Toronto

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