Actual clues in the Across section of the Eye Crossword (“by Cyclops”), Private Eye, 25 June–8 July 2004 edition:

• 1/5ac. High-risk sport for those with a pressing need: rough, topless BMX Orienteering? (7,7)
• 9. Find out soldier’s not finished having an erection (3,2)
• 10. Be inclined to grasp genitalia King put out like a squid (9)
• 11. Roving hand, one wanting a good greasing? (5,4)

(Wikipedia: “[The crossword] is currently set by Eddie James under the name Cyclops. The crossword is frequently pornographic and, by all measures, usually intensely offensive.”)

Mark Leduc is the still-impressive strawberry-blond Olympic silver medalist boxer. Homosexualist, of course. He was most recently seen majestically striding up Church St. in his usual wifebeater, and I think he’s completely forgotten who I am.

For extra credit, find my previous references to him in the old Weblog.

On Locker Room episode 9 (nearly impossible to view in repeats, while the first four have been rerun dozens of times), which, among other things, profiles his fabulous apartment, one enjoyed the following exchange:

Paul DeBoy (no relation)

So you like to go out and cause – cause trouble? Is that what I hear?

Leduc

Yeah, I cause a little shit.

DeBoy

What kind of shit do you like to cause?

Leduc

Huh?

DeBoy

Just go out and—

Leduc

Chase all the beautiful boys. [Confirmed! – Ed.]

DeBoy

Have you ever taken the low blow?

Leduc

[Gravely] No.

…Then I kind of let sports go completely, never worked out for years and years. And then I started drinking a little bit. Some people just simply should not drink, and I think I’m one of them. [Confirmed, sadly. – Ed.] Not that I get violent or anything; but I, you know, I kind of – when I drink I just kind of tell people how I really feel about them, which is, you know, sometimes not good.

Fun use for a vehicle wrap. You’re aware that Babs Kruger’s was a complete disaster?

Time to put all these together in one place. I’ll keep this list updated.

If you run an unattended display or sign on an automated system based on Windows, it is going to crash and somebody is going to publish a photo of it.

1. Latest: Eric Meyer
2. Crashed plasma
3. HTML considered harmful to computer terminals: Case 1; Case 2

• Why You Should Dump Internet Explorer. I get tired of trying to explain to backward Windows users (tautology, shurely?!) how much harm they’re causing themselves and the Web through the use of this, the newest cœlecanth of a browser.
  • Do you even have any understanding of security and standards compliance, let alone the absurd interface anomalies like duplicating the current page when you ask for a new window?
  • If you have no such understanding, is it also true that you work in Web development or tech support? In all the cases I know, it is.
  • It’s really simple: Use Moz, Opera, Firefox, or something else. Your machine won’t get infected, you’ll have tabbed browsing at last, and good sites will look right for the very first time.
• Banners Promoting Standards: “There are plenty of people out there who want your job and they know XHTML.” And they don’t use IE.

1. Thivessen: “Being an X-phile is like being gay in showbiz: gives people something to talk about.”
2. Ruggerses:
   1. Village Voice: “After Mark Bingham, an openly gay businessman and collegiate rugby champion from San Francisco, helped overpower the terrorists who hijacked Flight 93 on 9-11, more than a dozen new gay teams formed, many in Texas and on the West Coast. Part of this popularity is a tribute to Bingham and a chance for gay men to emulate someone whose heroism was acknowledged on a national stage that’s usually hostile to rough queer bodies.”
   2. Seamus McStebbins: “He didn’t invent gay rugby. He didn’t start any gay teams. Gay people were playing rugby long before he came along. He wasn’t even that supportive of a gay team at first. There were international tournaments and gatherings before the one named after him. The first gay rugby team was founded in 1995… six years before that fateful day. Ian Roberts was out and proud long before then, too. Learn your history, people.”
   3. Chad Smith (op. cit.): “[A] blogger sent an annoying message berating me for not updating my weblog, without expressing any consideration of what [I] may actually be doing with my life.” Yeah, that would be me. I said he was too busy being happy to update his site. It’s true, you know? “[I] scheduled my MRI,” Chad wrote; I told him to publish the results, à la Russell Crowe. And then, two months later, Chad shows up on the cover of Out.
3. In a Brian Pronger scenario, where gay researchers coïncidentally have amusing names, one reads of “Harry Cocks, University of London, [who] will be talking about how the gay community used code words such as ‘genuine and sincere’ in lonely-hearts columns and personal ads… to find a ‘broad-minded’ pal of the same sex between 1915 and 1921.” Also: “Laura Doan, University of Manchester, will describe her work to get access to the Home Office files, originally closed until 2040, about the banning of Radclyffe Hall’s groundbreaking lesbian novel The Well of Loneliness.”
4. “The Rose Has Thorns is an anti-hate crimes campaign” with a great name.
5. Segways: Not tested with crips, but used by them anyway!
6. Advice columnists clone themselves: “ ‘We all fancy we’re so unique that our readers would want to hear only from us.’ ”
7. Hugh Dillon looking good. He gave me a strong and probing look the last time he walked by. I reverted to celebrity mode (“You can’t treat them special”) and did not return his cruise. I Am Joe(’s) Dick?
8. “I’m imagining some time in the next ten years or so when I just wake up and grab something that looks like GoGo Yubari’s mace with a motor at the end. ‘Hmmm… well, seventeen blades is a bit risky, but goddamn if that isn’t a close shave!’ ”
9. Metro Maps of the World.
10. Brabus Maybach. Let’s jack a child restraint into a Maybach! (I’ve seen them in Jaguars, Mini Coopers, and 911s.)
11. My kind of building!
12. The Bubble Night Bomber looks like Super Mario shrunk into a Rolex.
13. “Straight” guys, whether “token” or not, don’t have profiles on BigMuscle.
14. U.S. Male Corps: Redhead “snowboarder.”
15. Further found type: Spotted in the Wild.
16. “Charlie Victor Romeo… is a live performance documentary derived entirely from the Black Box transcripts of six major real-life airline emergencies.
17. BoingBoing Lite.
18. A Scanner Darkly: Rotoscoped!
19. Who represents your dream actor?
20. Unused Windows keys.
21. Chick from Spellbound has a Weblog.
22. Cycling Gear: Helmets & Armour.
23. OMIGOSH! I sent Luke down the street to take that shot!
24. “The Defamer Male Celebrity’s Guide to Public Man-Hugging Without Seeming Gay and Possibly Jeopardizing Your Career.” Fix your slugs, people!
25. Inverting the Apple logo.
26. I can do a bilabial click.
27. “How Apex Became World’s Hottest Name in Electronics.”
28. Winstripe: A new skin for Windows.
29. Redesign TVNZ.co.nz.
30. E-commerce definition lists.
31. Binoculars + digicams.
32. “Nokia has funded a cell phone browser project at the Mozilla Foundation.”
33. “Congo word ‘most untranslatable.’ ” Oh? “In second place was shlimazl, which is Yiddish for ‘a chronically unlucky person.’ ” As in the Laverne & Shirley theme song?
34. “Helping Web designers understand accessibility.”

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