The way we construct consciousness is to tell the story of ourselves to ourselves, the story of who we believe we are. I feel that a really public shaming or humiliation is a conflict between the person trying to write his own narrative and society trying to write a different narrative for the person. One story tries to overwrite the other. And so, to survive, you have to write your own story. Or you write a third story. You react to the narrative that’s been forced upon you.
You have to find a way to disrespect the other narrative. If you believe it, it will crush you.
It feels like they want an apology, but it’s a lie.
It’s a lie because they don’t want an apology. An apology is supposed to be a communion – a coming-together. For someone to make an apology someone has to be listening. They listen and you speak and there’s an exchange. That’s why we have a thing about accepting apologies….
But they don’t want an apology. What they want is my destruction. What they want is for me to die. They will never say this because it’s too histrionic. But they never want to hear from me again for the rest of my life, and while they’re never hearing from me they have the right to use me as a cultural reference point whenever it services their ends. That’s how it would work out best for them. They would like me to never speak again. I’d never had the opportunity to be the object of hate before. The hard part isn’t the hate. It’s the object.
The foregoing posting appeared on Joe Clark’s personal Weblog on 2015.08.28 14:04. This presentation was designed for printing and omits components that make sense only onscreen.